Linman

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Revision as of 23:44, 12 December 2022 by Doug (talk | contribs) (→‎Controversy)
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Linman being "Stayman"

Linman is a two-year-old French Bulldog. He was born in Temple, Georgia and is currently living in Decatur, Georgia. Linman is a friendly and playful dog who loves to play with his toys. He is also very affectionate and loves to cuddle with his human family. He is owned by media presenter and personality Doug Bleichner, the host of Skeleton Realm LIVE! Linman is considered to be extremely "Loving."

Controversy

Licking

Linman loves to lick and many believe his obsession with licking is "over the top" or "too much." On more than one occasion Linman has been witnessed practicing an arm-chest-arm-hand licking cycle in which he licks the victim's arm, chest, arm, and hand respectively.

Still, others believe it is OK and thats just "how he is." These others would even go as far as to say that Linman's licks have healing properties and are good for society. Despite these divisive views, Linman is still overall believed to be a "Good boy."

Levitation

On October 5th, 2022, Bleichner claimed that on "last morning" he saw Linman in a state of levitation. As he recounts, he heard Linman pitter patter into the room and abruptly stop. According to Bleichner, this was unusual which prompted him to turn around and it is then that he allegedly saw Linman allegedly levitating.

As proof, Mr. Bleichner produced a photo of the incident, but many are reluctant to accept its validity. Sam Wagstaff is one of these, arguing that the photo was just taken in mid-air during a dog jump. Doug Bleichner has refuted this theory, stating that it is impossible for Linman to jump due to a bad vertebrae.

In Popular Culture

American slang has arisen to describe Linman in his various "modes of being." Many enjoy calling Linman by different names depending on how he is behaving. When Linman is being overly energetic and wiggly, it is said that he is being "Wormsby." When Linman is sitting still and calm like a good boy, he is being "Stayman."

Other names include Louie, Mr. Goo, Gorbus, Bubba, Goo-Goo, Poop, and Mr. Poop. He has been mistakenly referred to as Lintner.

Health Issues

Over the course of his life, Linman has been prone to various ailments of his being.

Diarrhea

Most notable of Linman's health problems is diarrhea. Diarrhea is liquid-style poop that is released frequently.

Hives

Linman has exhibited hives on at least two occasions, the worst of which was seen on Friday, December 9th, 2022, or what is now referred to as Hive's Day. On Hive's Day, Linman's face was swollen and pudgy and he had big lumps all over his precious little body. Luckily, by the next morning, the hives had subsided. To this day, it is still a mystery as to what caused the hives.

Congenital Malformation of Vertebrae

Due to a missing vertebrae near the base of his skull, Linman has a messed up gate that causes him to scuff up his little paws and on one occasion he broke a nail and bled heavily. He now avoids concrete when walking so it is not really an issue.

Chapped Nose

Sleeping Arrangements

The Linman Hole

Linman's current place-of-slumber is The Linman Hole. The Linman hole is located in the bedroom closet at Doug's house. Linman is carried to his hole every night. In the morning he emerges from his hole and does his morning stretches before making his way to the backyard to urinate.

The Couch

Linman has also been known to spend a night or two each month sleeping on The Couch, which is located in Bleichner's living room.

The Bed

There have been a few known instances where Linman slept overnight in The Bed. Though the event can be pleasant, it is not encouraged.

It is unclear where and what kind of sleeping arrangements may be made for Linman in the future.