2042 Doug
2042 Doug is a future iteration of Doug, primarily known for his ruined digital footprint. Doug drives a Hyundai Starship[1] and has distinctive bright red facial hair that is a result of his rise in social status, denoted by "The Bright Brow System."[2]
2042 Doug | |
---|---|
Born | Douglas Simpson Bleichner |
Occupation | Hermit |
Known for | Ruined digital footprint from Gasturbation |
Criminal charge | Public Gasturbation |
Gasturbation
Doug has expressed regret for not pursuing space-faring, space economics, or astro belt mining.[3] He is noticeably more pessimistic than his younger self, often referring to his past self as "foolish" and "stupid."[4]
In 2022, Doug took up gasturbating, an act that involves smelling one's own flatulence for pleasure or amusement. However, this habit ultimately ruined Doug's digital footprint and negatively affected his credit score. He was arrested for public gasturbation in September 2023.[5] This led him to shamefully reject attending Bureau School and move independently into a Hermdorm. Despite his past, 2042 Sam continues to encourage Doug to join Bureau School to get back on his feet.[6]
The Dirty Gorbus Incantation
Doug is responsible for saving 10 trillion life forms in 2042 by performing what some have called "The Dirty Gorbus Incantation." During this event, everyone in chat typed "I'm a dirty gorbus" at the same time. One quadrillion viewers from 2042 applauded from a large auditorium as this event took place.[7]
Other Notes
In 2033, Doug flew into Zebulon 6 to refuel and learned how to dance from scavengers while he was there.[8]
After requesting a Monster Energy Drink from 2042 Sam's Cyber Assistant, he was informed that all Monster Energy had been lost in the Poorgos War of 2029. The Cyber Assistant provided a custom-made synthetic Monster Energy, which Doug claimed "tasted organic."[9]
References
- ↑ Doug drives a Hyundai Starship
- ↑ The Bright Brow System
- ↑ Doug speaks on his regrets
- ↑ Doug demeans himself
- ↑ Doug describes his arrest
- ↑ Sam encourages Doug to go to Bureau School
- ↑ The Dirty Gorbus Incantation
- ↑ Doug talks about learning to dance
- ↑ Doug orders a Monster Energy from Sam's Cyber Assistant